How to Preserve Children: Old Fashioned Advice Recipe

Many older community cookbooks had advice recipes, like How to Preserve a Wife, and How to Preserve a Husband. This one is how to preserve children, or ways to keep them happy. The recipes change and evolve, and different ‘ingredients’ are added and subtracted, depending on where the readers of the poem or recipe lived. This one is geared toward children with areas to run around.

How to Preserve Children

• 1 large grassy field
• 1/2 dozen children, or more
• 2 to 3 small, friendly dogs (if in season)
• Deep, clear blue sky
• A narrow strip or pinch of a running brook
• Small pebbles for skipping on water
• Sunshine for warmth
• Trees, as needed for climbing
• Flowers, optional, for picking

Mix the children with the dogs together, and put them in the field. Stir constantly, adding flowers and trees as necessary. Pour in the brook, and add pebbles for the bottom, and add more for skipping. Spread over this a clear, blue sky with lots of sunshine. Bake in a hot sun until thoroughly happy. When tanned and warmed through, remove and set in a cool bathtub with favorite toys. When dry, serve with a glass of cool milk and fresh baked cookies.